I noticed that a lot of women, when they sit in my chair to get their hair done, seem to to very focused on having someone else’s hair and I’ve often times wondered, what is it that makes us not love our own hair???
It seems that our self esteem and confidence are all wrapped up in what our hair texture is or how long our hair grows. While trying to understand some of the emails I receive about why women don’t love their hair so much and are always wishing for someone else’s hair, I am constantly puzzled about the dialog that women have grown up with as it relates to their hair.
Conversations about our hair start at an early age and continue in the work place. Women have heard that they have “bad hair,” rough hair, tough hair, unruly, not good enough hair or Nappy, which is the other N-word, as I like to call it! All of these are negatives and it doesn’t make anyone want to accept their God-given beautiful hair!
Now I do understand that at times our hair can get a little moody and change courses or there may be a combination of different textures on one head, or you may even feel like your curl pattern is too tight or dry and breaks off. But usually these are all situations that can be remedied with a little patient and some good hair products and is not always necessarily the hairs fault. The hair has not committed a wrongful act of violence against you! Chances are you need to look within and not blame the hair. You have to embrace your own beauty and not covet another woman’s hair to the point of feeling like you are meant to suffer with your own texture or grade.
I hear it time and time again, women all over the world are constantly comparing themselves to other women’s beauty with regards to skin, weight and hair!
If I had one wish to give my fellow sisters around the world, it would be for them to love every inch of their being and understand the essence of their beauty does not lie within the cuticles of their natural hair, but within the hearts of each and every one of us! The essence of who we are comes from within, not without! We are beautifully made, without flaw to our hair, skin or anything else, because each woman is unique in her own body and has her own style.
If you find yourself still having a hard time accepting your own natural hair texture and length, here are a few tips on how to love your hair more…
First identify why it is you don’t seem to like your own hair. Is it too dry or damaged or are you not seeing enough length over a course of time? Could it be that you are even bored with your current style? Determine the things that bug you most about your hair.
Once you have done some soul searching about what the main problem is, then it’s time to go to work to fix it!
If the problem is dryness, then you need products that will give you more moisture and you may even need to change your regimen. I suggest looking for products that have a bit of oil ingredients and less alcohol in them. If you feel that your hair is damaged beyond belief, then I suggest you seek the help of a good professional for deep conditioning and or steam treatments to bring your hair back to life.
If the problem is length and you’ve tried all of the hair vitamins, growth serums and regimen solutions to grow hair and nothing seems to have worked, than you know what you have to do…love, accept and be more than OK with the hair you do have and find ways to love it more. Styling your hair differently and maybe even adding a little color or hair accessories will help a great deal!
If you are bored with your hair or find yourself in a style rut, be adventurous by going through the internet and checking out Youtube, just be sure to follow women that have your simular hair texture! Be willing to play with your natural hair and have fun in the process.
Lastly, book a photo shoot for yourself and have your make-up done to go along with the hairstyle that you have chosen. Once you get your pictures back, be sure to place a photo of yourself somewhere where you can see it and adore your own unique beauty. Take selfie pictures and be sure to find everything you love about the photo and nothing you hate! That’s when you become you own “Hair Crush!”
Just remember, it’s OK to admire the beauty of another, just be careful not to deem the light on your own beauty and be sure to alway be grateful for the hair that you have been given!
Malia Brown is the creator of UrbanSocial and Natura magazine. She is the former college ambassador for ESSENCE, a Journalist, and an on-air personality. Malia is a recent graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and she reports on beauty, pop-culture, political affairs, and race relations.